Saturday, October 14, 2006
This Chapter Ends.. Quickly Enough...
The semester just went by me, and just like that it was over.
My memory fails me, because I know so much has happened over that short span of time, but somehow my brain cannot contain them all.
Mixed feelings... I'm happy I made it through, but did I go by unscathed? Surely though I failed to meet some of the expectations I have set for myself, and I will not blame any external force for that. It has become my nature that I set the bar so high that my actual performance does not come even close.
But there are some moments that left a smile in my face. Just when I thought I could just close the door, and say goodnight and go, I realized, I just can't go by without thinking of the consequence. I know that departure is impending, but somehow, I felt like if I go quickly enough, there might be some that I am leaving behind. I thought I could live a life out of detachment and just go along with the usual flow of business, but now I know and I believe, that I can't.
As the semester began with high hopes, it ended interestingly. I know I could have done better, but maybe this final round in this college life would be my redemption. But knowing me, as I've grown to be cynical, I know, I won't be able to do as much as I expect myself to do. I know I'm not as strong as I perceived myself to be. I have changed. Circumstances have made me softer, and I guess my tunnel vision isn't as narrow as it was anymore. But it is still limited.
The next challenge comes in form of passing the law school entrance exams. Ah, my redemption could be found here. But that comes with a big MAYBE.
Nevertheless, the ennui continues at 8:53 AM
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