Friday, July 07, 2006
Insomia ate my coherent thoughts away. All I have now are merely vestiges of what really has happened. But I don't think this lack of sleep can deprive me of my fascination for irony. Not much has happened (read: sardonic).
I did it, Claire***. I steamrolled away 6 straight hours doing all I can to make things right for the flamboyantly titled LM planner. It was pretty much reminiscent to those hours drained away trying to conjure a good LM shirt for the competition, which I lost fair and square (read: sardonic, again). *shifts to stoic mode*
I am hoping that my efforts are not in vain this time, although I have been accustomed to the latter (read: frustra). I am really wishing that this time, all will be alright. It's another baby step towards WSDA, which is one of the primary objectives for this school year. I want the school year to end, WSDA in hand, and say, "I think I did alright."
Sir Montaña had a nice lecture in Ethics - stoicism, which is tantamount to indifference and jadedness (read: no such word), in the contemporary setting. I see stoicism as a double-edged sword. You would not get hurt and pained, by controlling your way of thinking (which is very difficult to do), but the universal law of equivalent trade comes into play. It has a price. One will trade away his passions for the sake of stoicism and eventually coldness comes. Emotions down the drain, and I don't think I can do this stoicism stuff. I cannot lose my passion. But with passion comes pain. And when all things come blurry, may reason prevail (read: things just got blurry, another irony).
Oh yes, it's 3:16 am, Filipino time. I hope that this is the last time, but I know it isn't the last time. This is cynicism this time. Ah, the complexities of the human mind.
Cool change? I'm still getting burned. But somehow, I feel rekindled. I think I know what this feeling is, and I want it to die. It must be extinguished. Else, chaos ensues.
How cynic, Jeiar, how cynic can you get.
*removes stoic cloak*
God be with me. Insomia is here.
__________________________
***quote taken from one of my favorite games, Star Ocean 3, implying an overwhelming sense of fulfillment.
Nevertheless, the ennui continues at 12:06 PM
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